Once again I decided to give up smoking, which at first doesn’t seem all that hard. It seems like it’s not hard, many people have done it before me. So why do I struggle so hard even to not smoke just one day or a couple of hours.
First off I’d like to give an exerpt of what’s been going on in my mind between 9 and 9.05 am this morning, to give you an idea of what makes it hard:
I got up around 7 and went to work without smoking => 3 cigarettes saved from an early burning. At 9am I’d be at work for about 30 minutes, enough to read email and get settled for the day to come.
9.00.00: wow that’s interesting in IE I get such and such behaviour in firefox things just work.
9.00.01: wouldn’t this be a great time to smoke a cigarette and ponder upon possible solutions
No can’t do that your quiting smoking today.
One can’t hurt can it. YES IT CAN
9.00.15: well i guess i could just write this and this line.
9.01.30: ok let’s test this b***h
9.02.30: sweet it worked, let’s celebrate with a cigarette. No can’t have a cigarette take a tasty
nicotine gum instead. Barf, that gum sucks it doesn’t even taste like gum. Have a gum and
stop whining sissy.
9.04.00: Ooh that gum made me unclinch my teeth and relaxed my shoulders nice, you see quitting
ain’t that hard. Well now I only have to find something that makes me not long for the act of
smoking in itself
Alas the gum didn’t triumph every occasion and after taking a gum that inner voice did quiet down a lot.
In total I smoked 3 cigarettes during the day. I normally would have smoked about 14 by now. All is not lost and tomorrow there is another day to battle the demon.
And I would definitely want to thank everybody @ Xero for their support in this matter. I would have smoked more than 2 cigarettes if it weren’t for them. These guys have been fantastic and I hope they can carry me through this mess.