Ivan Porto Carrero

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Stopping Smoking, It's Harder Than It Seems

Once again I decided to give up smoking, which at first doesn’t seem all that hard.  It seems like it’s not hard, many people have done it before me. So why do I struggle so hard even to not smoke just one day or a couple of hours.

First off I’d like to give an exerpt of what’s been going on in my mind between 9 and 9.05 am this morning, to give you an idea of what makes it hard:

I got up around 7 and went to work without smoking => 3 cigarettes saved from an early burning. At 9am I’d be at work for about 30 minutes, enough to read email and get settled for the day to come.

9.00.00: wow that’s interesting in IE I get such and such behaviour in firefox things just work.
9.00.01: wouldn’t this be a great time to smoke a cigarette and ponder upon possible solutions
              No can’t do that your quiting smoking today.
              One can’t hurt can it. YES IT CAN
9.00.15: well i guess i could just write this and this line.
9.01.30: ok let’s test this b***h
9.02.30: sweet it worked, let’s celebrate with a cigarette. No can’t have a cigarette take a tasty 
              nicotine gum instead. Barf, that gum sucks it doesn’t even taste like gum. Have a gum and  
              stop whining sissy.
9.04.00: Ooh that gum made me unclinch my teeth and relaxed my shoulders nice, you see quitting 
              ain’t that hard. Well now I only have to find something that makes me not long for the act of
              smoking in itself

Alas the gum didn’t triumph every occasion and after taking a gum that inner voice did quiet down a lot.
In total I smoked 3 cigarettes during the day. I normally would have smoked about 14 by now. All is not lost and tomorrow there is another day to battle the demon.

What this experience is teaching me that the saying You’re your own worst enemy (link 2)

And I would definitely want to thank everybody @ Xero for their support in this matter. I would have smoked more than 2 cigarettes if it weren’t for them. These guys have been fantastic and I hope they can carry me through this mess.

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